Marcelo,
Thank you for so much input. A lot to take in.
I enjoy asking, and a little bit teasing, you. You remember when I spoke about the olive tree we are meditating underneath in a few years time. Sometimes I think it will only be me, sitting on a green pasture and meditate and meditate until it gets dark. And then, I wake up and realise that it was all a dream.
Maybe we are only dreaming. I had a conversation with my wife, Jenny, this morning. I said that with increased responsibility in my job, life and environment, I still feel like I am 19 and have not changed. My perception is the same but the environment perceives me as mature.
It is as if my self-conscious has not caught up with me, protecting me from something, maybe myself. I might be perceived as the Business Development Manager and the person who can take so much on and works so hard, but in my own perception I am still in my bedroom in my parents house, looking out in the garden and watching the time go by.
Let me try to put this topic to bed about perception and karma. I need to have more thinking and meditation about karma before I come to terms with it and have a, maybe, final opinion.
I still believe that you can go different paths in life but if you are supposed to end up in China for example, you will. I believe that what meant to be will be. I will become what I set out to be or what my inner self set me out to become.
And I will. I know where I want to be in 9 years time (not physically but job wise for instance or family wise) – and, I know, if I put my heart, soul and effort in, that I will achieve it. And, I strongly believe, that if I changed jobs tomorrow I would still achieve it. Maybe not as easy or as comfortable, maybe quicker, maybe slower, but I will still become what I want to be. I am very certain about that!
Marcelo, I am a person, that cannot sit still. I find it hard to take a break, reflect, meditate or calm down. I have this inner drive to constantly do something. Workaholic they say 
But, I will try to learn and, I will try to meditate on what you wrote, because I very much like it. Thank you for that. I am not sure when, but I know someday, I will have the 3 years, 3 months and 3 days to meditate and find my enlightenment. And, possibly, I might not be able to do it all in one go but over a few years.
You ever worked that out? 5 minutes meditation a day, 150 a month, 1800 a year. That are 30 hours, or 1 day and a quarter. Not sure if I did the math right but at that speed, just to meditate 5 minutes a day, we need to meditate for 876 years to meditate for 3 days in total? Wow! I think I need to meditate more.
But lets use it as a metaphor and say we need to put a lot of effort in to meditate and reach enlightenment. You think it is the same effort for everyone?
I agree, we need to be out there and not hide away from what we are doing or living. We cannot learn, reach higher states or anything in life, without living it. You are an ex-monk, but you think that if someone retreats from the world to find enlightenment, that it will work? Would we not go insane? I am confident I would! I need people, challenges and learning to reach whatever I need to reach.
Sometimes I think I would like to know if I am turning 80, a 100 or die tomorrow in an accident. Sometimes I do not. When are we ready to move on? When can we change to a different status, a different living being. Is it something we want to do? When are we ready?
Again, whatever path, A, B or C, D or however many ways there are, we will reach death. Our all final destiny. But, we might achieve what we want to achieve and what we were set to achieve, again, no matter which path we chose. We will fulfil our purpose in life before we move on. That is my believe – does that fit in with Buddhism?
Have a good weekend my friend.
I send you all my love,
Volker
Buddhism, circle of life, inner self, karma, life and death, personal development, self development
